TEMPE, AZ— Carl Anderson, a 1L law student at ASU, was cold called in Civil Procedure last Tuesday morning. He had not read the last case in the sixty pages assigned the week before. In a panic, Carl contemplated whether he should simply ‘wing it’ rather than admit he neglected to complete the reading assignment: arguably, the biggest dereliction of duty possible in law school. Mr. Anderson, in an attempt to stall as he quickly glanced at the textbook searching for something to grasp on to, responded, ‘Uhhhhh…’
Tension began to build amongst his classmates as they realized Carl was unprepared for class. One student whispered to her friend, ‘Wait, Carl didn’t read for contracts last week either.’ Another responded, ‘How did he even get into law school? I don’t understand how people could be so irresponsible as to not read for class.’
Professor Hidaboaul asked Mr. Anderson if he had in fact read this case. Carl slumped in his chair, hiding his face while he replied, ‘Well, uh, I didn’t really understand it.’ Moving on, Professor Hidaboaul then asked Cheryl, the student to the immediate left of Carl if she read the case. She quickly responded with a yes, shot a quick glare over at Carl, then proceeded to give a long and overly extensive recitation of the facts.
After class, all anyone could talk about was Carl’s ineptness. Carl, too embarrassed to face his peers, quickly bolted out the door and walked straight to his car. In his flight, Carl forgot to grab his textbook for his early morning Torts class the next day, to which he would also arrive unprepared.
Failing to realize that professors do not have anything better to do than talk about students’ performance in class, Carl reassured himself thinking he could not possibly get called on two days in a row. Unfortunately for Carl, Professor Hidaboaul discussed the embarrassment with Professor Koaldcull, Carl’s torts professor. Professor Koaldcull, attempting to give Carl the chance to redeem himself in front of his classmates, made sure to call on Carl first the next morning. He would once again face the harsh and unbearable judgment from his peers.
In other news, in the 3L class next door, Professor Becker received no volunteers for the day’s case. He began calling on students who simply responded with ‘pass’ until finally giving in and providing the class with the facts.