The Daily Misnomer’s Guide to Christmas Gifts for Every Type of Law Student

 Winter break for law students is a glorious time of year. Of course we still have to deal with our usual ‘problems’  such as being poor, not having any time,  and all of the other over dramatized first world problems of the middle class.  But most notably, this is the one time of year many of us are free from the burdens of class work or summer jobs where we can kick back and enjoy 8 hours of Netflix on a Saturday… the same as any other weekend  except with a little less guilt.  That said, we’ve put together a short list of gifts for law student’s to make this wonderful time of year even more special. Forget the typical practical gifts. We aren’t talking about post-it notes, highlighters, rolling backpacks, pocket tissues, or any of that stuff (although probably good things to keep in mind come their birthday). Our guide will ensure the law student on your Christmas list gets a gift that works on duel levels of practicality and enjoyment.
1) For that law student missing home – Southern Comfort 100 Proof

SOCO

Missing the comfort of home? Well bring some comfort into your law student’s life with SoCo 100 proof.  After a few glasses/chugs of this, they probably won’t know where they are, or even care. Once they figure it out, they will just be grateful to get out of the sketchy neighborhood they’ve found themselves in and forget all about missing home.

2) For the law student who is too poor to turn their heat on – Barcadi Spiced Rum

Spiced rum

Ever heard the phrase ‘drink yourself a jacket’?  No? Well it will catch on eventually. Just remember we coined it. Most any alcohol will do but we like this pick as the “spiced” variety adds a little holiday flavor. After 7 shots or so they will be nice and warm!

3) For the law student who can’t sleep – Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey

Jack

Sleeping. Passing out in a drunken stupor. It’s all the same really. I bet you never thought about all the versatile uses for alcohol before.  Often an item dramatized by news outlets and described as unhealthy, deadly, the cause of accidents, familial problems and the like, there are actually some really great solutions alcohol provides to life’s many problems.  Can anything this useful really be bad? We are gonna say no. A poll conducted of The Daily Misnomer writing staff revealed 2 out of 2 agree  alcohol must be great if it can offer so much.  And hey, if it fails and they still can’t fall asleep, at least they had a good time.  Well on to the next, although by now you may see where this is going

4) For the law student who is always stressed – Jose Cuervo Especial Gold

Tequila

Nothing helps you loosen up like some good old fashion tequila.  By the end of the night your stressed out, anxiety-prone law student will leave all their worries behind in exchange for limes, salt, body shots, and questionable life choices.  The morning may be filled with regrets but for tonight, your law students will appreciate your thoughtful gift as they shout naked from the rooftop “FUCK THAT EXAM!”

 

5) For the law student who can’t stop talking about the hilarious joke their professor made in Torts, or cannot help voicing their opinion on the latest controversial congressional action – Everclear 

Everclear

Shut the fuck up already. Here, drink this, it’s delicious I swear. With any luck they will be passed out before they swallow and you won’t have to put up with that bullshit anymore. On second thought, this may be more of a self-serving gift but at least it’s something.

 

6) For the law student who idolizes sophistication. – Skyy Vodka

Skyy

Maybe it’s not the crème de crème of liquors but hey, anything not in a plastic bottle is pretty classy in our book. It’s blue, for Christ’s sake.

 

7) For the law student who lives with their parents – Assorted Shooters

litllebottles

Maybe your law students needs to keep their excessive drinking habits on the down low. In that case, small bottles such as shooters and pint size bottles work best. This way you can also give your law student some variety in their gift.

 

8) For the Mormon law student – A Goddamn Puppy

pub

So your law student doesn’t drink. You are probably thinking well what the hell am I gonna do? This entire guide has been useless.  Well don’t fret. We have a solution for that law student who is blue but disfavors the brew.

A PUPPY! Puppies are proven to reduce stress. It’s science. And by gifting a puppy, you are really saving two lives. I heard there are a bunch of pugs up for adoption…

 

Happy Holidays and Happy gift hunting from the Daily Misnomer!

Advertisements

One thought on “The Daily Misnomer’s Guide to Christmas Gifts for Every Type of Law Student

  1. I’m offended you didn’t end this article with the appropriate salutation of “Merry Christmas.”

    Law students Eating at Chompies and forgetting about Jesus? I know your tricks, Jew.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s