Missing the comfort of home? Well bring some comfort into your law student’s life with SoCo 100 proof. After a few glasses/chugs of this, they probably won’t know where they are, or even care. Once they figure it out, they will just be grateful to get out of the sketchy neighborhood they’ve found themselves in and forget all about missing home.
2) For the law student who is too poor to turn their heat on – Barcadi Spiced Rum
Ever heard the phrase ‘drink yourself a jacket’? No? Well it will catch on eventually. Just remember we coined it. Most any alcohol will do but we like this pick as the “spiced” variety adds a little holiday flavor. After 7 shots or so they will be nice and warm!
3) For the law student who can’t sleep – Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey
Sleeping. Passing out in a drunken stupor. It’s all the same really. I bet you never thought about all the versatile uses for alcohol before. Often an item dramatized by news outlets and described as unhealthy, deadly, the cause of accidents, familial problems and the like, there are actually some really great solutions alcohol provides to life’s many problems. Can anything this useful really be bad? We are gonna say no. A poll conducted of The Daily Misnomer writing staff revealed 2 out of 2 agree alcohol must be great if it can offer so much. And hey, if it fails and they still can’t fall asleep, at least they had a good time. Well on to the next, although by now you may see where this is going
4) For the law student who is always stressed – Jose Cuervo Especial Gold
Nothing helps you loosen up like some good old fashion tequila. By the end of the night your stressed out, anxiety-prone law student will leave all their worries behind in exchange for limes, salt, body shots, and questionable life choices. The morning may be filled with regrets but for tonight, your law students will appreciate your thoughtful gift as they shout naked from the rooftop “FUCK THAT EXAM!”
5) For the law student who can’t stop talking about the hilarious joke their professor made in Torts, or cannot help voicing their opinion on the latest controversial congressional action – Everclear
Shut the fuck up already. Here, drink this, it’s delicious I swear. With any luck they will be passed out before they swallow and you won’t have to put up with that bullshit anymore. On second thought, this may be more of a self-serving gift but at least it’s something.
6) For the law student who idolizes sophistication. – Skyy Vodka
Maybe it’s not the crème de crème of liquors but hey, anything not in a plastic bottle is pretty classy in our book. It’s blue, for Christ’s sake.
7) For the law student who lives with their parents – Assorted Shooters
Maybe your law students needs to keep their excessive drinking habits on the down low. In that case, small bottles such as shooters and pint size bottles work best. This way you can also give your law student some variety in their gift.
8) For the Mormon law student – A Goddamn Puppy
So your law student doesn’t drink. You are probably thinking well what the hell am I gonna do? This entire guide has been useless. Well don’t fret. We have a solution for that law student who is blue but disfavors the brew.
A PUPPY! Puppies are proven to reduce stress. It’s science. And by gifting a puppy, you are really saving two lives. I heard there are a bunch of pugs up for adoption…
Happy Holidays and Happy gift hunting from the Daily Misnomer!