Study: 94% of Annoying Professors Who Give Spring Midterms Insist they are “For Your Benefit”

A recent study released by William and Mary Law School finds that 83% of the 1000 law students surveyed nationwide have “that one hard-nosed professor who gives a midterm in the spring semester.” Of the 830 students who have that professor, 94% admitted that the professor justified the exam by saying “it is for the benefit of students.”

The results come as no surprise to thousands of students who are studying in dimly lit law libraries across this great nation for an exam that invariably counts for only 15-25% of the grade. Says Minnesota 2L Sven Karlsson: “So here I am sipping some pop in class during syllabus week, when my Evidence professor mentions our midterm. It’s outrageous, ya know? We were all still reeling after Blair Walsh missed that field goal, and then our bald 72 year-old professor strolls in and drops this bomb on us. When he said the test would be for our benefit, we all politely nodded of course, but inside our feelings for the man were icier than my windshield this morning. I’m sorry. Was that mean?”

University of San Diego 1L Sara Gomez shared similar sentiments. “This is just, like, so unfair. I thought brutal midterms were just a first-semester 1L thing, but then my con law professor had to pull a fast one on us. I just wanted to coast through this last week of classes before going to Cabo for Spring Break, but no! Like, I was gonna go chill at Mission Beach after class, but now I have to outline for this stupid test all afternoon. At least we haven’t fallen behind on the material, and previous students say his test is fair and beneficial in preparing us for the final exam. Still, this is totes annoying.”

The other 6% of professors apparently “just want to watch the world burn,” according to Arizona-Rogers College 3L and former Wildcat quarterback Matt Scott. “After almost three years of grueling academic stress, and just months before I take the Arizona BAR, my Law and Sustainability professor is giving us a midterm. Excuse me, but how is her exam going to sustain the emotional and physical well-being of myself and my 3L classmates? I’d rather play a football game tomorrow than take the exam. At least when I was beaten up and knocked down on the field in Tucson, they didn’t test my mental abilities right afterwards.”

Despite the frustrations of law students, spring midterms do not appear to be disappearing any time soon. So unless you have evaded the dreaded spring semester midterm, get off the internet and start studying! After all, it’s for your benefit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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