Stunned Students Unable to Register for All First-Choice Classes, Vent on Social Media

This week, students at Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law and many other law schools endured registration for Fall 2016 classes. As often happens on registration day, many students cannot get every first-choice class they desire. Naturally, said students whine about it on social media, hoping to garner the fake sympathy of friends, family members, and more fortunate law students.

When confronted about a negative registration-related post on March 28, SDOC 2L Carlos Hallo lamented, “I just really wanted the Monday-Wednesday 1:30 Professional Responsibilities class with Professor Skulliuh, because I’ve heard the best things about him. Now I have to wake up on Mondays to take that class at 8:30 with some random teacher. Ugh.” When asked why anyone else would care about his whiny post, Hallo replied “It was a crappy Monday morning, and it’s not like I can just keep those negative emotions inside. After all, I’m paying over $40,000 a year for this bull—t.”

Rebecca Roselyn, a Loyola-New Orleans 1L, added to the national online uproar when she had to take Evidence because Con Law II had filled up. Her original post is seen below:

The only thing worse than waking up at 8 AM to register for classes is waking up at 7 AM. AND OMG, my Con Law II class filled up. Seriously done with law school rn #byefelicia   39 Likes

“I mean, there are hundreds of other students in my year who all register at the exact same time. And yeah, a majority of them also woke up at 7 AM because they wanted to take Con Law II. Mathematically speaking, there was probably a 60% chance I wouldn’t get the Con Law class, and higher odds of having another priority class fill up. But why me?!?”

She added, “Once I suffered this truly life-shattering fate, I was powerless to control the feelings of cynicism that permeated my entire body and soul. My fingers typed the harsh words, and I was powerless to stop them. It got 39 likes, so there were clearly others who were impacted by the school’s indefensible registration policy.”

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For law students who registered for all their desired classes, the negativity became deafening. Monica Carter, a 1L at Summit Law School, admitted “I got all my classes, but it felt like I was the only one. My morning was filled with people talking at me about their registration woes. I begrudgingly listened and nodded, if only to avoid being murdered by an angry mob of registration sufferers. I finally found another person who got all her classes at lunchtime. We immediately became BFFs, and it was fantastic.

When asked if he cares about the plight of many students, SDOC Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs Frank Dooling exclaimed, “Ha! Why would I care? Registration at all law schools is meant to screw most students over. If everyone got the classes they wanted, my position would become meaningless. In fact, we just implemented a new policy for Fall 2016 where students can no longer add and drop classes between now and the Fall semester. Finally, off the record, it’s really funny to see students bitch about their registration woes.”

Unfortunately, that means law students must continue to deal with this cannibalistic system of registration for the foreseeable future. So if this year is any indication, registration victims will continue to post outrageous rants on various social media platforms without fail.

 

 

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